


I may be young but I will grow up strong

by gunboots



Series: I'm Such a Fool for Sacrifice [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Age Difference, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Angst, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Defiling the Iron Man suit, Emotional Baggage, F/M, Falling in Love (kinda), Featuring cameos from Rhodey and Natasha, Frottage, I'm Going to Hell, I'm Sorry, It's kind of a love story only with more issues, M/M, Mentions of PTSD, Peter is trying his best, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Tony Still Has Issues, Unhealthy Relationships, background praise kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-05-17
Packaged: 2018-06-08 23:56:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6880729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gunboots/pseuds/gunboots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It probably doesn't help that Tony gives Aunt May lavish gifts, treats them both to expensive dinners, and flirts with her shamelessly. He seems like all the guys that hit on Aunt May—Tony says that he's only paying her back for stealing Peter away from her all the time.</p><p>Aunt May always laughs and accepts it all—saying he could hardly be that bad of an influence.</p><p>She has no idea. Tony isn't joking—it's his sincere penance for the strange idea he has that he's corrupted Peter somehow.</p><p>Sometimes...Tony Stark is full of shit.</p><p>[Tony and Peter both have some adjusting to do and they're not dating but they're probably dating and maybe in love.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	I may be young but I will grow up strong

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spirograph](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spirograph/gifts), [fishew](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishew/gifts).



> I BLAME THE SIN BIN ON TWITTER: ALL OF YOU DROVE ME TO THIS WITH YOUR GREAT AND FILTHY HEADCANONS. Wow, I'm sorry for the random sex with the Iron Man suit—only I'm not cause that's all on Fish, Julie, Jenn, and Span—you guys bring out the worst in me (thank you). I'm not sure what this fic is—I wanted them to have a happy ending but this wasn't exactly that. 
> 
> Uh...ya. Also Harry Osborn hasn't been introduced yet but I really loved Dane Dehaan and welp. There ya go. 
> 
> Thanks to [ Span](http://archiveofourown.org/users/spirograph) for the beta: YOU'RE THE BEST BAE. THE BEST ROBO-LOVING BAE. Title is from "I'm Not Cool" from the Sohodolls. That and No Doubt's "Bathwater" were on constant repeat as I drummed a basic idea for this fic.
> 
> [ _ **EDIT**_ ]: [ Tony's side](archiveofourown.org/works/6984271)

Peter was in New York when the attacks started, had been running to safety with Aunt May and Uncle Ben when the Chitauri led their invasion right to their doorstep.

It's only been a few years, but he can remember the first time he caught a glimpse of Iron Man's suit in action. The excitement, the dizzy relief he felt when Tony Stark, an orphan like him who built a suit to save the world, saved him and his family right in front of his eyes.

He doubts Tony even knows what he did—that he even saw the kid from Queens all star-struck and amazed at seeing a hero in action. But that's ok—Peter definitely knows that their...whatever it is...was definitely not what he planned when he first daydreamed of meeting Iron Man.

Even now, he kind of gets a dizzy rush when he sees the dated youtube clips of when Tony first revealed he was Iron Man.

(He'll never tell him, at least not with his words—sometimes he feels like he's so obvious that it doesn't matter anyway. That Tony can taste the wonder in his sighs, can feel it in his lips.)

So.

As far as first serious relationships go, this wasn't at all what Peter originally pictured for himself. He's not sure if it’s a better or worse thing—just that it's kind of a thing, him and Tony Stark are kind of a thing. He's pretty sure they're exclusive, but he's never really asked for clarification. He's not sure if he should even bother. 

If Tony can tell from the way he can make Peter moan and bite his lip—actually stop him from running his mouth—then Peter can feel Tony's desperation. Tony kisses like he's drowning and the only way he'll survive is through Peter's lungs.

It's kind of a weird analogy but this is all kind of weird.

...It's not bad though.

*

Everyone thinks that Tony Stark is into Aunt May, not Peter. Peter doesn't know how to feel about that one. (Especially when he tries not to think about how he's the one who knows what a week's worth of stubble feels on his chest, how Tony Stark's dick feels in his mouth, and how loud Tony screams when he has nightmares that sound too complicated to explain).

It probably doesn't help that Tony gives Aunt May lavish gifts, treats them both to expensive dinners, and flirts with her shamelessly. He seems like all the guys that hit on Aunt May—Tony says that he's only paying her back for stealing Peter away from her all the time.

Aunt May always laughs and accepts it all—saying he could hardly be that bad of an influence.

She has no idea. Tony isn't joking—it's his sincere penance for the strange idea he has that he's corrupted Peter somehow.

Sometimes...Tony Stark is full of shit.

(Once, once Tony tries to bring up telling Aunt May—he had horrible timing because he had to do it _RIGHT_ after he'd come on Peter's face and Peter was more than a little freaked out to hear about his _AUNT_ of all people with Tony's jizz in his hair.

There were too many reasons to list why Peter had just desperately kissed him—jizz and all—to get him to shut up.

Besides, Peter's not even done with senior year yet, they'll burn that bridge when they come to it.)

*

Peter's learned a lot about Tony since his 18th birthday, mostly that he intentionally confirms much of what the internet speculates about him. There's a lot that could be said about that but Peter's not about to take a shot at his favorite hero because the guy has issues. If anything, Peter is just surprised Tony trusts him so easily, so quickly with said issues.

There are times, like now, when he's watching Tony try (and fail) to hide that he's had a bad night. His hands are shaking and his smiles seem pulled taut around his face but he looks at Peter like he's relieved he's still there.

Peter's only ever kissed a girl once (and Harry, but that doesn’t really count), he's only been a superhero for barely a year, he comes home with bruises and gets pushed into a locker a lot less regularly than he used to be.

He doesn't really know what he offers Mr. Stark, but he's never been this badly needed by someone before.

It's a bad sign that not a small part of him likes it.

*

To this day, Peter only has a vague idea why Captain America and the others even LEFT the Avengers—Tony won’t explain it. More like he can’t. It’s like the whole thing pains him, like it’s another weight building upon his shoulders and just thinking about it adds another twenty pounds.

People still talk about how Captain America and the other Avengers have gone rogue—there are so many people split on why the Avengers did what they did. Some are pro-Cap and anti-Sokovia accords, others aren’t.

Peter’s a lot more moderate on the subject that even he expects himself to be. It doesn’t negate the fact that he does have nightmares sometimes—that his first fight ended up in him seizing up at another punch being thrown.

To this day, he thinks that it’s just one more thing Tony blames himself for even if Peter doesn’t.

Peter just wants to know what could possibly make Captain America leave the Avengers.

But he has a feeling the only person who’d tell him why _IS_ Captain America.

*

Tony buys him a computer and then tries to buy him and Aunt May a new apartment...and a car.

All in the span of an hour.

"What are you doing?" Peter demands, in the face of a brand new computer (he wants it so bad, he needs it really—but something about having all this wealth thrown at him when he and Aunt May have gone so long without is a little irritating).

"It's my fault you and your Aunt have had the paparazzi dogging you at all hours," Tony says, sitting on his bed like he owns the building. Peter does not even bother entertaining the thought. "And your old set-up? _Cute_ —but you're about to start school kid, what kind of protégé of mine is using that kind of tech? It's insulting."

"I don't need a car and our building is—its fine." It's really not, there are places that Peter wishes they lived instead, places that would let Aunt May garden—but Peter's not going to give Tony the satisfaction of knowing that. "You don't...I'm flattered Mr.Stark, really but you don't have to do this."

Tony watches him for a few minutes, something unreadable in his expression—Peter doesn't know why, but he gets the feeling that he's missing something big here.

"Alright, alright." Tony says, but there's a twist to his mouth that feels almost...sad.

Aunt May's out buying groceries—will be out for another hour. Peter leans forward to kiss Tony sweet and soft.

He spends the rest of the hour with Tony's hands in his pants and his mouth on his skin.

*

"I like the computer—I'll keep it Mr. Stark, but anything besides that will feel too much like the Sugar Daddy rumors are coming true." Peter says as Tony cages him against the bed, the bracket of his hips resting against Peter's.

"You can't be just happy with this." There's something about the way Tony says it that Peter doesn't like. Peter reaches forward to pinch him. " _Ow_."

"So what if I am? You're Tony Stark. I'm...I'm me. I owe you so much, Mr. Stark—is it so weird I'm happy with just that?" Tony doesn't say anything, but he looks at Peter almost like he's afraid. He leans forward to press his response to Peter's mouth when Peter hears the front door unlock and Aunt May humming.

Tony doesn't bring it up after and Peter doesn't ask him to elaborate.

*

Harry hasn’t asked him to clarify why he’s suddenly spending more time with Tony Stark, direct competition for Oscorp, even as Harry’s father frowns at the dinner table when he visits.

Instead Harry just looks at him, sighs and shakes his head.

“You’re too nice for your own good sometimes Peter.”

He’s pretty sure that’s the only endorsement Harry is willing to give, if Harry knows—but Harry, is still his best friend, and has been there for him all this time. Harry probably knows him best outside of his immediate family.

Of course Harry knows.

*

There's a lot Peter thinks he should be able to help Tony with, there’s a lot that Tony does that _HE_ needs help dealing with (the whole spending obscene amounts of wealth in a desperate attempt to convey affection, being the most pressing one), that he has the crazy thought to ask Ms. Potts. He's even gotten close enough to looking up her contact info in Stark Industries before he closed the browser window.

He's not exactly sure how to compare notes with someone who almost got married to your mentor. Mostly  he's not sure how to explain that Tony is still his mentor but is...his...well... _boyfriend_ 's a strong word.

Peter tries to consider any and all ways to bring it up before just resigning himself to figuring it out on his own.

Something about asking Ms. Potts felt wrong anyway. (Peter tries not to think of Tony's expression when he heard the name, the intense look of heartbreak, of hope, of sheer panic. Sometimes he can hear the echoes of Tony's hyperventilating in his dreams).

Sometimes Peter wonders if all of Tony's former girlfriends went through something like this. He also wonders if Tony ever held onto them in his own ass-backwards way like he tries to do with Peter.

*

Peter catches Tony looking over an outdated cellphone in his office one day—when he looks up, he puts the phone in the desk and leads Peter away from the room.

Peter doesn’t know why Tony has such an obvious antique, but it’s always fully charged and ready to be used.

…It never rings and Tony never uses it.

*

The sex is fantastic—which given that he was a virgin and he's sleeping with a man who literally has his own SNOPES page about sex urban legends, it's not surprising.

But still—sex is great.

Though it's a little different than he pictured sex with Tony Stark would ever be. He's never, EVER going to tell Tony but before this whole thing, he'd...he'd imagined what it would have been like to be cornered by Tony Stark after a convention, how impressed Tony would have been with his non-specified paper. And it would have all ended in Tony bringing him back to his room to fuck him silly on a table among all his lab papers because he was fifteen and deeply into bad porn. (The reality is that Tony watches him even when he knows Peter sees him as Peter babbles on and on about physics and equations and it fills his chest.)

Sex with Tony isn't wild sex parties and strange tricks with his tongue or penis (though he's very, very good at using both) but it's Tony who likes their age gap more than he lets on, Tony who's a lot more patient than Peter honestly thought he would be, and a lot easier to please than Peter ever expected him to be.

*

“You know, when you asked to examine the Iron Man suit a little more closely, this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind…” Tony says as Peter experimentally sits down on his lap. Tony’s taken off the faceplate but somehow it’s made it all better/worse because now Peter can see him watching, assessing as Peter shifts against him.

The Iron Man suit isn’t as freezing as he thought it would be, it’s not burning either—just room temperature against his skin. He’s absolutely not thinking about the symbolism of him naked in Iron Man’s lap, while Tony watches him with a lot more interest than his voice conveys.

“Can you feel me?” Peter asks instead, settles his weight so that his dick is right against where Tony’s is. Tony’s pupils are dilated, but then again Peter’s also hard so there are no stones that can be thrown here.

“Is this a fetish? Like something the youth are into nowadays that I should be concerned about?” Peter slowly pushes his hips against the suit and in a surreal moment of disconnect finds that it feels like humping iron would feel but somehow the metal warms comfortably to his touch.

“Aren’t you all about experimenting with the Iron Man suit?” Peter tries to snap back only the words start to die in his throat when he feels the cool metal of Tony’s glove (and that makes him dizzy, the repulse blaster sensors are literally brushing against his nipples). “Stop acting like you’re so old—my teachers are older than you are.”

“You know, that’s really not a comforting thought.” Tony says but his voice is hoarse, he brushes his hands down Peter’s body, let’s the metal warm against his skin. “Jesus, this is turning into a thing—I’d thought I’d seen it all kid but you’re the first one who wants to fuck in the suit.”

“Can you? Is there like a dick pocket or something?” Peter asks but then one of Tony’s fingers is against his mouth, and he slides open to let it inside. The Iron Man glove tastes metallic but it’s also warm, and it’s a far cry from a human finger but Peter does his best attempt to fellate it anyway. Tony lets out a groan.

“You know when I added sensors to this thing—this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.” Peter knows that Tony’s hard, knows that if it wasn’t for all this armor, he’d be able to feel it. That makes him feel hotter, knowing that the same armor that protects Tony is what’s separating them, that all this power is at Tony’s beck and call but Peter naked in his lap is reducing him to incomprehension.  He moans when he feels Tony’s other hand around his dick, the sudden bite of the grip around it makes him shudder.

“I wish I could fuck you through this suit—you’d like that wouldn’t you?” It’s not even dirty talk, at least not even the way Tony means, it’s a genuine question like he’s actually considering it and Peter hates how that makes him moan louder. “Not sure how I’d add a robo-penis to this thing—strap-on maybe? Could make it vibrate too.”

The idea of Tony fucking Peter with his suit makes his dick twitch, he’s slobbering all over the finger in his mouth but Tony’s staring at him like he wishes it was _HIS_ dick in Peter’s mouth.

“You know I can adjust the temperature of these things right?” It’s at that moment the grip around Peter's erection gets colder and the sudden sensation makes him almost grit his teeth—Peter nips at Tony's finger in reproach and Tony laughs.

Tony pulls his finger out from Peter’s mouth and eagerly replaces it with his tongue, the temperature of his hand warming up around Peter’s dick again. It’s almost too much—the sudden hot and cold feels so good even as he keeps sliding his thighs up and down against the Iron Man suit. Peter’s sure he’s sweating,  sweat and pre-come and then Tony bites on his lip just as he drags down his grip just so and Peter falls to the punch-drunk of orgasm. Tony kisses him through it, it’s almost suffocating the way he rides it out until Tony’s grip is too much to bear and he pushes the other away.

"I’m going to have to clean the suit.” Peter raises a brow and Tony just snorts back at him. “Ok…so maybe this is going to be a thing for me now.  It’s not actually a bad sight, kid. ” Peter can’t help the way he flushes at that—damn Tony, somehow making a compliment effect him more than the literally sweat and come caked on his thighs while he rode the damn Iron Man suit. “We’re so very close to me needing to clean the interior of this thing. Which…kudos Parker, I never actually planned for THAT scenario.”

“Face it, you like fucking virgins like me. Like this.”  Tony rolls his eyes and reaches for some paper towels nearby. Peter’s idly thankful that no one else is home. (It’s rare that anyone besides Vision is ever actually home in the Avengers compound but that’s beside the point).

"First off, don't try and dirty talk like that—I feel like I need to bathe us in holy water now." Tony throws the paper towels in his hand at a nearby basket and barely misses. "Second, of course I like fucking virgins, but mostly I like fucking you, Parker."

It wasn't exactly a love confession, but the way he'd smiled down at Peter, the way he'd LOOKED at Peter, it almost felt like his chest couldn't handle it.

"Mr. Stark—"

"Shh, kid. I know I'm great." Tony says, but it's low and whispered like he feels just as awestruck as Peter does. “now get off me, I need to get out of this thing and fuck you with my human dick before I get a complex about the suit.”

“Seriously?”

“I’ll blow you too, don’t worry.”

*

It should bother Peter that they haven't told anyone.

It should, really.

Only he likes it—likes that it's a secret between him and Tony. It makes things a lot less complicated when it’s this small thing between them and only them.

He knows this only means it's going to end catastrophically later and that it's only a matter of time.

But he likes that for all the speculation, all the rumors (and they still haven't gotten a good picture of him which—if anything he has his time as Spider-man to thank for being able to dodge cameras so well), and all the considering looks that Lt. Col. Rhodes and Ms. Romanov GIVE them—no one really knows the truth besides him and Tony.

He knows he's just a kid from Queens, but it's times like these he feels like he's just as powerful as an Avenger.

(Sometimes Peter thinks he should be jealous, when he watches Tony on screen at school or on the weekends and sees the throng of women and men throw themselves at him. But then he’ll see think about the ache in his hips, the bite-marks on his clavicle and the way Tony whispers his name like it burns his lungs and Peter knows that it's’ not just _HIM_ who worries about interest being lost.)

*

There are days that Peter thinks he’ll wake up and this is all a dream.

That Uncle Ben is still alive and about to knock on the door, that he was never bitten by the spider, that he’s not actually in Tony Stark’s room in the Avengers compound.

But then he opens his eyes and Uncle Ben is still gone, his powers are still there, and Tony is putting on a suit that is worth more money than he has ever made in his life as Peter lounges in thousand thread count sheets.

“Up for breakfast?” Tony says, because even though it’s late in the afternoon that’s just how Tony is.

“Depends, do I have to dress up?” Peter asks, and he doesn’t understand what Tony sees in him, why Tony humors him, he’s not sure he ever will. Tony just turns to smirk at him and something about it is so, so fond it hurts to look at it. “Ugh fine…I don’t have any good clothes though Mr. Stark—and I want waffles.”

“We’ll go shopping—at a reasonably priced store all covered by the September Foundation.” Peter snorts but he rises up out of bed, looks for his Iron man boxers on the floor and grins when he catches Tony watching. “Maybe buy you some new underwear—you’re not FIVE.”

“You like it.”

“…That’s beside the point.”

Peter laughs, even as he feels Tony wrap his arms around his waist, the feeling of facial hair against his cheek, and the smell of aftershave filling his head.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to say I'm sorry for my life and to my family.


End file.
